How Can You Tell If a Guy Is Really Interested in You or Not- Better Than Blue's Clues
69When Do You Feel That a Guy Really Likes You Alot
See results without votingWouldn't It Be Sweet To Really Know If You're Wasting Your Time or Not?
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Part One: The Art of the Pursuit
As this particular Hub unfolds, I want to make it very clear that I am not a love connection expert by any means, however, I have been on the opposite side wondering the same things about a woman and trying to pick up on the signs that would allow me to make the next move without getting rejected.
Rejection is something that we all fear at some point in our lives, and what a better way to know and to see the signs to prevent this from happening to you. If a guy really likes you, it should be as clear as the sky, and if he doesn't you should know this too. So, lets get right into it..
The first way to absolutely know if a guy is interested in you is in the pursuit. From experience, if I'm actually pursuing a woman then that is my way of saying that I am very interested. For example, if you find that a guy is calling you at least once, twice or multiple times per day, this is a pursuit. The same goes for texting, emailing, or just wanting to be around you all the time.
Ladies, this is your first clue in actually knowing if a guy likes you or not. All men tend to have other things to do in their lives, such as watch football or hang out with the guys, however, if they are sacrificing that time to be with you, this is a good sign for you.
Part Two: Out of the Ordinary Gestures
Alot of times, we men have a hard time of expressing our feelings towards a woman. Avoiding verbal gestures is our main pick, but doing out of the ordinary gestures is more like us. In the beginning, this is more like us but as time goes on, don't be surprised if those out of the ordinary gestures turn into verbal ones.
So what do I mean by these non-verbal gestures?
- Joking around with you
- Flirting
- Sending E-cards to Your email
- Texting you with :) all the time
- Buying you something you didn't expect, etc...
These are just of the few for you to look for if you want to know for sure if a guy likes you or not. You should be able to tell if these gestures start to perpetuate by the many repetitions that you see. Don't waste your time on a guy if you are not feeling any of these things. If you are doing more of these things than he is, it's time to move on.
Part Three: The Ice Breaker
QT or Quality time is what all women adore. When you find that a man is willing to spend ample time with you, he is very interested. No only that but when he breaks the ice and ask you out on a date, this should be a definite sign. Now the ball is in your court to seal the deal by letting him take you out so you can get all your questions answered wink:)
If you happen to go out on this wonderful date, watch for more clues such as his dress style, his body language, and speech. Does he look you in the eye when he speaks to you? Is he wanting to be affectionate? Does he smile at you all the time? Look for these and you won't go wrong.
Hopefully, you will have success now and in the future when trying to decide if a guy is really interested in you or not. Keep in mind, that as a man, I've done these same things to let a woman know that I am very much interested in her. I am sure that most men have followed these same patterns and more in their lifetime.
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Hey sweetgirl, sounds like a little Shyness to me. I believe you know what you're talking about. Guys who really don't like you will try their best to avoid you at all cost, however, this young man you are telling me about does have some interest in you. Keep an eye on him and watch and see what unfolds. Also, you're 13 yrs old, love is a long ways off for you. Don't focus too much on guys; handle your business in school. Hope this helps.
My guy doesn't do any of these:
* Joking around with you
* Flirting
* Sending E-cards to Your email
* Texting you with :) all the time
* Buying you something you didn't expect, etc...
but when he's up to it, he sacrifices sleep time to spend quality time with me and he calls it fooling around but it refers to cuddling and kissing but there'll be days of no communication unless he sees me at work, he'll say hi but he seems to get scared if I try to initiate a time for us to hang out. Can shyness really create this duality? But when we're alone together, he's the sweetest guy but unsure if he wants to be in a relationship but even though he's shy he knows how to communicate that he wants to be intimate.
Yes, shyness can very well create this duality, but most of all I believe the fear of commitment creates the same results. Wanting to be intimate is what most men want to achieve a some temporary satisfaction, however, the woman just wants to be loved in the process. Don't let this guy play on your emotions. There has to come a time where you put your foot down to see what direction you all are going. In this day and age, there no time to play games. Take it from me, I used to do the same things.. :) Now I've let GOD in my life and he's brought me the woman of my dreams. Hope this helps..
God Bless,
Ontarian
It does help. The sad part is I'm as afraid of serious commitment as any guy but I don't feel I can make such a strong decision either way unless a chance is given to progress the relationship so I think it's ill-informed for a guy to box himself out from the very beginning. Something also makes me think that when a guy meets someone he's truly attracted to and gets to know her and realizes he has something good before him, he'll put his best efforts forward.
Anyhow your advice was on par, I decided to cut him loose and put my foot down so no more contacts even when he asks me to play video games with him.
I really want to see 110% effort because I know I'm worth it. I truly desire for every man to find God in his life and every woman. I'm happy for you.
Good for you:) Always be aware of your boundaries and your limits. I know tend to have a time limit to the love that they give as supposed to a man trying to balance which way he should go (eg. commit or not). You are right, a guy always need to put his BEST foot forward is he desire to win the prize, however, without the LOVE of Christ in his heart, he really can't love himself less much love anyone else with all of his heart..
Praying for GOD to send you the right mate:)
Blessings to you,
Ontarian
Hi Ontarian,
I have fabulous news! After I cut him out, never logged onto my entertainment system for days, politely answered some texts to let him know I still exist but never gave him my time and made it clear that I had a life and plans that didn't include him because he seemed to assume that if I messaged him back it was an indication that I wanted to see how he was to hang out.
Sure enough, he asked me if he could call me and I agreed and we met up to talk and he opened up completely about his feelings and his desire for exclusivity and all the confusing signals and actions I was getting from him was primarily due to his shyness.
He didn't want anything physical but was super respectful and on the same page and open for communication. We really have a connection and relate on so many different topics and issues. It's funny because I read some of the other how to know if a guy likes you hub pages beside yours and they're not applicable to my case.
Now I'm getting the pursuit I want and the communication of why he wants to pursuit me and I want to thank you for your article. It concluded my nights of staying up wondering if I had some sort of dysfunction.
Well, all I can say is Hip Hip Hooray wink:) When a man opens up with his feelings, he is serious, rest assured. I am very happy for you and wish you both the best. My prayers are with you. True love is a Gift from GOD; True love deserves patience.
The pursuit is critical, especially for you I see :) Keep me up to date on the progress.
God bless,
Ontarian
I want to know if this guy has a feelings for me. He alway teasing me when we see each other also in text. He always says that he loves me and asking me if i have a boy friend. I knew this guy is so always not serious. how can i know if he is serious or not.
Hey Miss. a, the BEST way to tell is to check his motives. In other words, if he really loves you, he's going to get SERIOUS and be with you. Loving you and being in Love with you are 2 totally different things. If he's serious, he will ask you to be with him and him only. Ask him questions to see how serious he really is.
I really like this guy and we don't hang out very often but we talk online all the time. I don't want to seem pushy so I've never told him how I felt but secretley i want him to kiss me or tell me he likes me or SOMETHING. What should I do, please help.
There's nothing wrong with a Woman letting another guy know her feelings. Take the first step if his body language is not reciprocal, and see what happens. My suggestion also would be to hang out more and get to know each other. Ask the right questions more often.. Hope this helps:)
God Bless,
Ontarian
Hi would like to know, I've been talking with this guy on the phone for weeks now and decided to meet.. but I was wondering if he's just a good talker/player? he said that no parents disliked him? he just broke up with his ex gf 2 months ago, and told me that if I ask his ex how he was in his relationship with her the girl will tell me that there is nothing to complain about, like he's perfect? he calls me all the time, text me all the time asking to see me soon. is he just a player? thanks.
Well, Carlyn..
You intuition and instincts are
for sure kicking in:)
You are absolutely correct with this Gentlemen.
Be on your P's and Q's with him. No MAN is perfect, however a Real man will admit his flaws.
Be careful. Guard you Heart. Let me know how it goes.
You Gut is Most of the Time on the MOney.. Good for you:)
God Bless,
Ontarian
Alright.. I'll let you know once I get it :)
Thanks and God bless.
I been seeing a friend of mine for awhile now but all we do is chill at his place. he has two babymamas now and 4 kids.I know him not having any money is whack because he can't even take me out but how do i kno if im nt just temporary until he wants to get back with his second babymama or he is interested. He says he loves and he will be there for me but i think he lying what should i do?
Charlotte, 90% of the time, go with your instinct. If you are not seeing any signs of commitment, or any moves of making you happy, it's time to go.. Words are one thing, but ACTIONS speak louder. Follow your Gut and you will have made the right decision.
Blessings,
Ontarian
I have been going to school with this guy for four years now,since my freshman year, but I never actually talked to him until this year. We have all our classes together except for one and have become really close. I see him as one of my best guy friends, but secretly I have been crazy about him for the past five months. It seemed to me that he was interested in the beginning, but now he seems different sometimes. He seems to notice things that nobody else every notices and he is extremely sweet. He has all of the qualities that I am looking for in a guy...he is funny, he doesn't drink or smoke, he has an amazing personality, and a beautiful smile.
I think I know more about him than most people at our school do. Also I know for a fact that he trusts me because he let me know about a personal fact about his life. I think this fact has effected him greatly because ever since I found this out I've noticed that he isn't always himself and it really bothers me.
I care so much about him and I love him as a friend. I have fallen hard for him the only thing is I don't know if these feelings are reciprocated. At one point I was pretty positive that they were, but sometimes I think that in my mind I make things seem a certain way because I want them to be that way.
Now I feel as if I need to move on or continue having feelings for him. If I continue having feelings for him I just keep hurting myself but at the same time it makes my day just to be able to have a conversation with him. I don't know if he knows how I feel about him but I am pretty sure that I've made it quite obvious.
At this point I don't know what to do. I've asked my friends for advice but it doesn't help me. I would like your opinion on this please...
Amy, love worth fighting for is always in the pursuit; it seems that you are the one who is actually making BOLD moves here. Although your guy told you a SECRET about himself that probably no one knows, it may just be a trust thing, and not a pursuit of love.
I am 99.9% sure that he has felt your vibes of interest. What man wouldn't.. And if he hasn't.. something is wrong. Don't waste too much time if the feeling isn't becoming mutual.
Guard your thoughts and your emotions about this guy until you are sure that what you are feeling will come true on both parts.
So now, it's time to throw a net out there to see if he walks in it. Starting to use what I call "isolation methods." Basically, ask him if he would like to hang out sometime.. you know.. go to a movie.. etc.
If he agrees to this.. pay close attention to the non-verbal gestures that I talked about in my article. These are key. Watch for eye contact, smiling, attempts to hold hands, etc.
Let me know what happens..
To be continued..
Blessings,
Ontarian
There is this guy that told me he wasn't ready to date and didn't want to marry. But he always comes up behind me and stand next to me at a counter and last night he kissed me on the cheek. What does that mean? I'm feel like I'm getting mixed signals.
There is another guy that I was really attracted to. I thought he was too, but he started dating friend of mine. His girlfriend got jealous of him hugging me so I asked him to stop for the sake of the friendship with his girlfriend. Since then he hardly speaks to me. I talked to him last night and told him I missed talking to him he sort of yelled at me and said "I miss talking to you too." I don't get it? I'm really confused.
Hey Over40, okay, let's sum up your first situation. Most men will give you whatever you want without commitment just to keep the thrill going. Also, most guys who are NOT serious about dating or a relationship will exchange what he wants for you for your emotions. Sounds harsh but it's TRUE.. I used to be that way, until the LORD came into my life.
Your emotions are too precious to be played with.. If he is not wanting to commit, get rid of him.. It will save you heartache and pain..
For the second situation.. his commitment level is not solid. He's flirting with you while he has a girlfriend.. This is NOT a good sign. You can measure a man's commitment level by giving him an ultimatum. Either he is going to have eyes for you and you only or not. Like I said before.. your emotions are too precious. Use the right judgment in dealing with these situations.
Hope this helps,
God Bless,
Ontarian
Hi! I just met a guy through a friend 2weeks ago. He's a star athlete and is very close to being in the NFL.. When we met we hit it off great! He really likes me but im wondering if he's just lonely? Not to say that Im not such a catch that a man would be into me that quickly, just wondering if its too good to be true.. He calls me baby, tells me he wants to see me all the time. We had one date and the 2nd time seeing eachother at his house we cuddled (with lights on, not in an intimate way but like we were a couple who were also bestfrends), and he initiated it. He didnt want to let me go.. lol I didnt want him to either though. At 5am that morning he txt me and said he woke up thinking of me.. i mentioned my concerns to him and he said "when i like something i like it and i love hard, i told myself i was gonna take my time but i do like u alot and i hope ur not running game, Maybe i expressed myself to fast, i need to learn how to keep my guard up" i assured him to keep expressing himself and he agreed.. but is he just running game??????
Just wondering
I like this guy that i am with alot, but then again i am not sure. His green eyes and curly hair has got me hooked on him, and i just cant get over him. I knew that he liked me from the second i saw him staring at me, but i just cant tell if we are both lusting, or if there is something actually there. We both call each other beautiful, and we barely know anything about eachother. When I asked him what compelled him to ask me to be his Girl friend without even knowing my last name, he said that he loved my hair and the way i spoke. nothing about my eyes or the way i make him feel there was not an actual or substantial reason- and i cant find one either. Do you think that we really like each other, or we just like the way we look together?
@Ashley, be very careful with this guy; and most of all, guard your feelings.. He's going to the NFL where there will be a ton of women at his fingertips, but if he is serious, you will be able to tell. As a young women, you have a gift; an instinct rather that will help you determine if this is fake or for real.. Follow your gut feeling and see how it plays out; Be careful of saying "I love you too early on".. Test him to see if he will really commit to you and your feelings..
@Bella, I believe you guys are just going off each others looks.. you're stimulated by the way he looks, instead of how he makes you feel.. this is vice versa.. Get to know the REAL him, and see how you feel afterwards.. I'll be waiting for the results..
So this guy, hes really nice and isn't very out loud, kinda quiet I guess. But he is really nice. So it kinda started i was keeping my eye out for a guy to possibly date. And his locker is next to mine, and we have conversations every once and a while, you know, he was easy to talk to. So i kinda started getting this crush on him, and my friend noticed him looking at me casually like when hes talking with his friends or in gym class. I mean like casual 2 second looks, but my friends told me if im messing around or acting silly he will look at me and smile or laugh a little. So I had a friend talk to his friend, and apparently this guy doesn't like to date. The reason why, im not completely sure. But anyways, he is constantly looking at me, literally all the time, right into my eyes (like anywhere from 0-4x a day, we dont have a lot of classes together. When i do notice, i try to smile and hold it for a second. He gets quieter around me, but does make an effort to get closer sometimes.
I try not to draw conclusions, but what im assuming is that he likes me, but he just doesnt really want a girlfriend. Please any input to clear things up a little will be awesome :) thanks
wat i meant was we talk like 0-4x a day, he looks at me countless times.
Hey um i had sex with this guy i jus wanted to give my virginity to someone i wouldn't regret. he then asked me out2 days later. But i don't want him to do it out of obligation. I'm not sure if i like him but he's da only person that has caught my attention. He dose all the stuff u talk about. But what if he's jus being nice. Idk he could get almost any girl but wen I'm with him i hav all his attention and ask da other stuff forums are saying. I wanna be sure before I give him any real feelings
I can't read him. n da type of person he is I don't know if i should take it seriously. I know for sure he gets agitated seeing me with other guys den gets protective. But being da person he is he laughs it off. So idk iif he's clownin. He tells me i keep paying with his feelings but he laughs wen he says it. To be honest i neva thought guys had feelings and dat all dey wanted was to hav sex. i think he's been interested for da past 4 years. But he jokes with everything lol I'm confused
I met this guy through in a group situation and we hit it off. He called me to go out for coffee and we (or mostly he) talked for hours. We are both divorced and he just shared openly with me the first time we met. For the past 3 weeks we have been hanging out, talking on the phone a lot, and hanging out with our daughters. He never makes any moves around our children but we were intimate last week-end. We had a talk the next day and he said he likes me and doesn't want to hurt me but he's not really looking for a relationship right now. We had a very open discussion and he said it is up to me - he might develop feelings but he might not - and he doesn't want me to get hurt if I do and he doesn't.
I am not naive but I'm wondering if we should just be good friends and hang out with our girls instead of complicating our friendsip with any further intimacy. I like him and I do think he respects me, so I think maybe we can be good friends and stop anything intimate from continuing so neither one of us gets hurt. What do you think?
Notsurewhattodo, that's exactly what I was thinking; It is imperative that you protect your feelings no matter what. This is definitely the right decision for you and him.
Hi Relyonhim, maybe you might give me some light. I met this guy back in August 2010. He was on the verge of breaking up a long term relationship. We immediately clicked. He, 39, has a high profile demanding job - a surgeon - a divorce (right out of med school), a trophy ex girlfriend for over 4 years, and a reputation of a party animal & pathological flirt. Me, on the other hand, 43, successful professional and entrepreneur, no strings nor children. Not trophy material - no silicone here! :)-, and quite far off the over high maintenance women - may I say brainless?- he hangs out with that might be looking for a good provider and social status. The mix signals are driving me CRAZY. Whenever he is traveling, he texts and calls like crazy. As soon as he is back, he disappears. He has invited me to all of his personal private parties. I have been introduced to all of his close family members and friends. And yet, he haven't invite me to a private chat over coffee or wine. Its so childish! he gets all coy and nervous around me... the other day we met with a mutual friend and he was trying to camouflage the details of a weekend beach trip he was going. If there is nothing between us, why hide? I know he has a very active social life. And I don't have any evidence that he is dating someone right now. Should I throw the towel?
There is this friend of mine who is very love-shy but I've made bold moves everything from a friendly kiss to saying I like him, to inviting him out. He gets more aggressive with each revelation on my end however, I'm sensing he's processing a lot every time I reveal myself. He always contacts me every week and when we see each other at work, he's always near me, joking, smiling at me when he's in his comfort zone. I invited him out to the movies and the man who always responds immediately gave me nothing. I figure Im not going to even mention it the next time I see him and just act like myself as usual. I don't know what else to do. What gives?
@Christiane, Okay sister.. I see quite a bit of RED FLAGS here; first of all he has a history of flirting- he's in the high profile class, meaning it's easy to get a big EGO (Etching God Out), plus it's easy to become a chick magnet, which he has done in the past.
I always tell people who I give advice to to follow their gut; what are your instincts telling you. If he's texting you all the time while he is away, but doesn't give you any attention when he is in town, it's all superficial.
From what you have told me here my dear.. it's time to throw in the towel. Don't get your feelings in to deep with this guy, and always protect your emotions.
p.s. and by the way- I would love to know what type of business you do; I too am an entrepreneur..
God Bless,
Ontarian
918-361-5939- anytime
@ChrisMiss.. You've done all you can do up to this point and don't get down on yourself; If he is really into you, and if he really wants to be in your life, he will make it a point to PURSUE you.. Just sit back and be patient and see if he takes the initiative..
@Ella, if he's looking at you all the time, there's some mutual attraction going on there, however, you need to really see what's in his heart. He doesn't want to date, but he keeps looking at you. This can play on your emotions heavily. Find out if he is serious about you by asking questions like "how long has it been since you've dated?" Why don't you date, etc...
@Panda, make sure he's all for you. Giving up your body to him is moving a little bit too fast. Boys/Men tend to measure you most of the time, by how fast you give it up, so don't do this again.. Find out what he really wants. Be on guard and see what's really in his heart. Again, don't sleep with him anymore..
Relyonhim7,
There is a guy on eharmony that e-mails me all the time. He is a widow. He seems very guarded. Why does he keep e-mailing if he's not ready to date? I'm confused. There is another guy online that his clock is ticking and is anxious for marriage. I'm not in a rush, I just got out of a 17 yr marriage. Should I go out with him? I don't want to feel pressured about marriage and I can forsee this as being a potential problem.
I am a single mother of two boys 8yrs and 18 months, by two different guys. One is an ex husband the other ex boyfriend. When I met this new guy he told me upfront he only want a sex partner. I agreed because I thought thats what I wanted. I fell for him. I told him how I felt but he havent said anything. Because
his last gf cheated on him he don't want nothing serious and don't trust female. Its more than sex for me and I feel its also for him. He always want pillow talk, asks questions about my relationship,my family, his very curious about my life but only when we meet. When we not meeting, we text every now and then but nothing serious. With every meeting he get a little more open, comfortable, touchy. I think the reasons he might not want to be serious is because I am a full figure and I think thats a problem for him. He never said anything but I just feel it. I also think the fact when we met 4 months ago and still now I am unemployed. I think he is trying to figure out if I am the type of woman that want to find a guy that will take care of her and her kids. Not sure if this was vague or too much. What do you think? I want to walk away but having a hard time doing so.
Hi (: i really like this boy he is 15 and im 13. i always talk to him on facebook but i'm the one who always starts the conversation. I have been to a few of the school's football games with him and he won't stop staring at me, & he always looks nervous whenever i'm with him.. i asked if he liked anybody & he said he didn't, but i really think he likes me! he's also really shy; but each day he seems like he's opening up more & more to me
Women need to learn that Men ONLY want Sex....stop wasting your time waiting for a man to love you. Even for a kind, supportive, beautiful woman...men just aren't capable of unconditional love. Just Lust.
sweetgirl101 2 years ago
I need ur help please i like chris but i don't no if he likes me.everytime we pass each other wen we walk and look at each other we both look away and we both send each other email a lot.and he says he doesn't really like me but i think he is hiding his feelings like all 15 year old guys do.haha.im only 13 though but i do really like him but he makes it so difficult to tell.i am very open to him i could tell him anything.and i don't no wat do do